Oct. 23, 2015


Dear Teenage Daughter Of Mine,

I’ve given it a lot of thought and I’ve decided that we can’t be friends. 

It’s not me.  It’s you.

You help me understand why some animals eat their young..........



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11.09.2016 17:44

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11.09.2016 17:44

Twinkle TaleTeller

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15.02.2016 21:31

The Other Half Of Dancenastics103

Amazing! Keep it up!

18.05.2016 18:39


aw thankyou!

15.01.2016 20:17


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02.12.2015 00:23

Lauren Briggs

I couldn't have said it better myself! Even down to her brother. We call being hungry/angry- hangry! And I'm sure she inherited that trait from me! Love this! Perfectly said!👍🏼🙄

29.11.2015 10:04

Kristina Wilkerson

Wow, although I don't yet have any teenage children this touched close to home. I love it. I have bookmarked this for later reading. Thanks for sharing. 💜💜

28.11.2015 07:05

Nanette Danner

Amen! Give it to God and Don't Take it Back. Pray, Pray, Pray! It's the only thing that will get you through these Mother- Daughter conflicts. My Girls are now thirty one and teeny seven. Praying!

25.11.2015 06:43



23.11.2015 14:21


You a bird, and your daughters a bird. Real parents don't listen to there kids. They make there kids listen to them. You new parents get stepped on to much. Your daughter your bff. Your a fucking idio

25.11.2015 18:04


You are a judgmental piece of crap. Keep your rude and idiotic comments to yourself.

22.11.2015 16:03


This made me smile. My daughter is married now as of October but I promise this was "our" story and the adult she has become is remarkable. I couldn't be prouder. I remember all of this so well.

22.11.2015 00:27

maria rodriguez

It sounds like my 17 yr old grandaughter who thinks she rules the world. And you are right they feel its about them all the time... Be strong tuff love ...you gonna be there for her regardless ....

21.11.2015 18:54


Be careful what you wish for because one day you will be called on to babysit her children!!

21.11.2015 23:43

Amanda Waggener

So funny and so true! Thanks for reading.

20.11.2015 23:11

Stephanie Wray work at Enmark.

Amen, Mom you are a great mother. I had the same problem with my girls. Now, my oldest is a mother herself. She tells me all the time thank you mom, I love you so much. Just put it in Gods hands ,.

20.11.2015 23:02


And so it never changes through generations.I do however worry about my beautiful grandaughters handsome grandsons. That they will not be pulled into the wrong choices,this scary world can be perilous

20.11.2015 21:26


Beautiful determination but I wonder -- why are teens allowed to roll their eyes at their parents and mutter under their breath? I was never permitted to be so disrespectful. (I'm 35)

20.11.2015 13:19


Beautiful articl and very well written. Stay strong Mom! That's what I keep telling myself these days. :)

20.11.2015 06:31

Christian Arthur Fugal

Very well said . Wow You are the greatest Of all Moms God Bless both of you

Chris Fugal A Ioving Father , Grand Father and Great Grand Father

Best Mother to Daughter letter

20.11.2015 01:46

Dottie joel

Heidi, that made me teary. Your mom would be proud. I've been through it and my daughters and I are now great friends. You're doing great!

20.11.2015 00:47

Mitzi Vaught

This is exactly how I feel with my daughters! Thanks for putting it on paper!

19.11.2015 17:46


Very well said..i salute you! I can so relate.i have 3 girls,a college,a high school and a middle school.3 different personalities,you can just imagine my everyday life.. they are my life...

19.11.2015 16:56


You obviously have been watching me and my daughter for the past decade as you have exactly described our relationship. Thank you for comforting me by letting me know I'm not alone!

19.11.2015 13:03


How wonderfully you have pen down your feelings. I totally relate me and my daughter relationship and can understand you very well. I read at the point when I felt I was the only one who is suffering

18.11.2015 13:58


I am writing as a dad; we raised a daughter and are now raising a granddaughter. We are here to teach, to guide, to try to instill in them strength..friends don't usually do that!

18.11.2015 05:13


It started s a toddler....none of this behavior is cute in the article or something to be proud of

18.11.2015 18:46


C'mon Debbie, don't be a downer. You're saying being independent and opinionated isn't something to be proud of? With your comment... looks like your parents raised someone similar ;)

18.11.2015 17:57


Well, we aren't all the lucky mothers of perfectly tempered toddlers. Strong willed independent 3-year-old girls are forces to be reckoned with, regardless of how well you parent them.

18.11.2015 04:57


Perfectly said and felt every mother goes thru all of this thankyou for writing it so perfectly

18.11.2015 03:57

Carl Brotman

No Mom , No pass. I don't hear you taking any responsibility for your situation . You have it all being her . Yes , teenage raising can be tough, so what . Remember, there's no one out there just U.

18.11.2015 18:51


ALL responsibility? What about the successful kid raised by abusive neglectful parents? They get credit for the success?

We hate it at times... but our kids are more than just OUR nurture.

17.11.2015 23:28


This goes for boys too.. Except it seems to hit about the time they enter middle school and start listening to their friends. Good call Mom

17.11.2015 22:56


I wish I had the courage to write something like this to my daughter when she was 14..now almost 18 & still acts like this describes..only worse..BUT I keep on parenting & waiting to be friends oneday

17.11.2015 20:16

Jacki O

This was awesome...sharing with my teen daughter!

17.11.2015 19:54

Amanda Waggener

AM - thanks for your comment. Negative comments are not normally deleted as I love hearing all viewpoints, but Gary's comment was rude & insensitive to others aside from myself & thus was deleted.

17.11.2015 19:50


Gary..maybe kids who commit suicide over stuff stuff like this are like you. Very over dramatic with no sense of humor.. come on... it's a funny but true story...

17.11.2015 16:29



17.11.2015 15:35

Donna McCarthy

Well written and so true and I pray to for child to be born just like her !!

17.11.2015 13:27

Monica Sorenson


17.11.2015 09:55


Perfect article. I swear my mom wrote this lol and now I do have that daughter she wished on me..... Let's just say this article exactly fits my thoughts now too.

16.11.2015 21:30


If that is your daughter in the photo, she's lovely =)

16.11.2015 21:39

Amanda Waggener

It is....and thank you!

16.11.2015 18:30

Sue W

Great article but seriously - you respond to a yell to come curl hair? Where is the respect in that? 14 is old enough to curl her own hair and iron her own shirt and be responsible to remember forms

18.11.2015 18:56


Hahaha.. yeah, true enough. Sometimes our sympathy gets the best of us as parents.

16.11.2015 18:11


We would never have made it through the mood swings without Ibuprophen.

14.11.2015 05:17

K Smith

It will get better....keep doing what you're doing, Mom! I've been there and done that!

13.11.2015 22:58

A Mom

I am afraid of & whom ever sent this as unknown. If this is to be seen by your daughter do you think she will respond?From a Mom with a troubled daughter.TRY TALKING TO HER face 2 face.

15.11.2015 17:23


I'm sorry if I'm wrong. ..you obviously don't have a teenager. 90% of adult humans don't listen they only hear. I love this. She is right about her not understanding now but, she will one day!!

13.11.2015 04:55

Carol Spencer

Great job, MOM!

12.11.2015 01:38

Julie Harnish

Ohmygosh this is so spot on! Keep it up, Mom!

11.11.2015 22:51

Stephanie Ray Brown

Love this!!! Wonderful
Writing! Thank you for sharing!

11.11.2015 19:09


And then drugs enter their lives. And all reason goes out the window.

18.11.2015 13:01


Wow such negativity! Not all children resort to drugs. ....and if they do, that is when they would need this letter so much more. That is when they need to know that they are loved despite mistakes.

11.11.2015 12:23


I raised four daughters and yes everything you said and more I experienced they are all grown now and one has a 15 year old daughter so she will call me and say how did you do it with four

11.11.2015 01:38


Please email the letter if you don't mind

11.11.2015 01:35


Wow amazing!!!! I have a 15yr old and I couldn't have written it better myself , it's literally the same things I experience myself, I tell her I'm not here to be her friend, I'm here to be her MOTHER

10.11.2015 00:03


I love this. I have a 15 year old step daughter that is MY daughter. I hope she sees the REAL mom was the one who gave her rules & standards & concequences. Not who always gave in & what she wanted.

08.11.2015 00:27

ilyse halter

This hit hard. We have been having trouble with our 22 year old. She had been dormant for a while and erupted recently. Thanks for this letter. It really helped!

05.11.2015 15:44


True. But i never gsve up trying. I have 10 kids 7 are grown and moved away. Now im dealing with another 14yr old in a cople of yrs ill have 2 more teens. But its okay i wouldnt have it any otherway.

05.11.2015 15:29

Patti Ruland

This rings so true! Well written!

05.11.2015 05:59

Julie Terrell

Omg!! Priceless!!! Love, love it.

04.11.2015 13:08


So much truth, we can't be their friends during those days, but thankfully it doesn't last forever. I'm enjoying the evolution of my relationship with my daughter, who is a college senior.

03.11.2015 22:17

Christie Kropac.

Oh my goodness. You nailed it. I enjoyed every word - We have one daughter out of 6 boys. She is the second youngest so yes she has 5 older brothers - stories I could tell. Can you email me this

03.11.2015 20:17

Ann Marie

I could have written this to my girls ages 31 a 18 now. The oldest has 2 girls now so I will be forwarding this on. Thank God we are friends now as well as being her mom.

03.11.2015 20:15


Loved it

03.11.2015 19:25

Kasandra Burton

printed and took home to daughter. we laughed at the similarities of our experiences. Thanks!

02.11.2015 20:55

LuAnn B.

You hit the nail on the head Amanda. Thank you for writing and making all of us moms of teenagers know we're not alone. Prayers to those going through really difficult times. Moms unite!

02.11.2015 20:05

Kristi B. - Missouri

I laughed so hard through this and then I cried when I finished it:) Though you speak of your 14 year old it is me and my 17 year old to a T:) How touching & inspiring! Thank you!

02.11.2015 21:29

Amanda Waggener

So glad you enjoyed it!

02.11.2015 05:11

Donna mitchell

Yes we love our children b try to help them any age but than u realize u already done that but here I go rasing her again it's nice at first cause she's your only child but u realize she's grown but

02.11.2015 01:10


My mom emailed this to me. It hurts my heart, but I understand.

02.11.2015 13:58


Awww it's good you understand

01.11.2015 21:36


I feel like I was reading my own thoughts!! My daughter is only 12 and we are starting this already. I honestly get sick of hearing myself talk some days. Thank you for sharing

01.11.2015 19:55


I have 2 girls, now 25 & 23. I made it through the fire & can now watch from the other side & laugh. But with my 23-yr-old especially, how I wish I'd had this to read! Keep your sense of humor!

01.11.2015 17:37


This is my world and to realize you're not alone is very comforting. Absolutely amazing spot on post!

01.11.2015 17:35


I get the message here, but stop curling her hair and ironing her shirt teach her how money works, she should be working at some level learning real life, it would humble her a bit & where is dad?

31.10.2015 23:05


you have made me feel less alone today. bless you.

18.11.2015 13:39


Sorry I hit reply to the wrong comment...that comment was in response to Bradd's post right above Cara's.

18.11.2015 13:35


She is still only 14 and as for curling the hair&ironing her clothes. ...you don't get to do that for them much longer, so as a mom, it's a pleasure to still be needed.

01.11.2015 00:46

Amanda Waggener

Cara, Your comment makes me want to keep writing. Thank you. We are all in this together!!

30.10.2015 19:25


To the Author,
I feel like I could have written this myself except I have a 14 year old son.
I can spot a parent of a sweet little toddle a mile away, because she is still hopeful, like I was.

30.10.2015 14:36


Loved this! And sooooo true. You had me laughing and nodding yes throughout the article. I've shared with many friends and we all agree. Love my daughters but there were times, lol!

30.10.2015 06:04


Good for you, Karen! Despite what many people say, things don't need to be either/or. I know many parents who are, also, friends to their children. Both the parents and the kids are lovely people.

05.11.2015 19:06


Thanks Holly! I know for sure I am not the only one that has enjoyed a friendship with their kids <3

30.10.2015 05:12


Ass kickingly accurate

30.10.2015 03:28


I am a teenager and I am 17 . From the age 13-17 I have learned my mother is the best resource to go to. Sometimes she also reminds me I am your mother remember that.

30.10.2015 02:28


This is absolutely beautiful. My mother and closest friend forever! Boy am I glad she realized as you have that I needed a mom not a friend so i could become the kind of woman she wanted as a friend.

30.10.2015 00:55


I have boys ❤️ but totally loved it - as a daughter I thought it was perfect. And I say to Karen - you are clueless 😳

05.11.2015 19:06


Can't be clueless when I have empirical evidence. So many fight me here - perhaps thou doth protest too much? Or, rather, is it a form of envy? That I have/had this?

30.10.2015 00:47


I am great friends with my kids, now 32 and 37. When they were kids though, it was time for me to mother and mentor them in love, not be their buddy.

30.10.2015 00:16


Dear All - I am actually a mom, age 46, with 5 kids. All of them are, indeed, my friends. None of them are my peers. I wish you all the best.

29.10.2015 23:06


I often say I am not my daughters' friend now so I can help them grow into the kinds of women I want to be friends with later.

29.10.2015 22:10


Sending this to my now almost 27 year old daughter and mother of a sixteen month old little girl. :)

29.10.2015 21:15


This is just horrible. But, I'm sure I wouldn't want to be your friend anyway, so maybe you just gave your poor daughter a blessing in disguise.

30.10.2015 00:42


Perhaps you have reading comprehension issues, or simply didn't finish reading and considering it before responding, Karen. It's clear to all that you've completely misunderstood it.

30.10.2015 00:10


Laurie, do not cal me "Honey," got it? Thanks. And actually, its a rude, hurtful, sad "letter" to her child. It's not the child. It's HER. Deal with that, Laurie.

29.10.2015 22:40


Oh poor deluded Karen. This is an adorable love letter to a daughter who needs her MOM to be a mom, rather than a buddy. It's expressed with tenderness, snarky humor, and much LOVE! Grow up, honey.

29.10.2015 22:08


Does anyone else think maybe "Karen" might just be an irrational teenager?

29.10.2015 21:52


Karen, I think you missed the point of the blog. It's actually very sweet.

29.10.2015 21:19


seriously Karen? kudos to Amanda who wrote this. it's lovely and brought tears to my eyes. my daughter is only 2 but I can imagine reading this will help me deal in the future. thank you Amanda.

29.10.2015 18:08


OMG!! You are living my life of the past 3 yrs!!! My daughter is 16 and this started at 13. But led to mental health hospitalizations. It can turn into anything. We are still struggling horribly

31.10.2015 14:20


Lol. Leah needs a dictionary.

30.10.2015 19:57


What the hell Leah? She wasn't at all being sanctimonious, why don't you check a dictionary before trying to use the newest catch phrase incorrectly. Beth was being open about a family struggle.

30.10.2015 03:21


Beth, we are in the exact situation. My daughter is 16 and was hospitalized a few weeks ago. THough it feels like I'm the only one going thru this....I'm not. We should connect!

30.10.2015 00:53


Sanctimonious mommy says what?

29.10.2015 14:38


Great article. I have been telling my friends this forever!

29.10.2015 06:37


Spot on!

26.10.2015 01:01

Andrea R

Love the unfriended blog!! You hit the nail on the head........